"Walking the Razor's Edge" Discussion

So this is where I would like feedback for my story. This can be anything you want, but I'd prefer constructive criticism and (if you don't feel you can do that or can't find much to give concrit for) what you liked best and why.

If you're reviewing a new chapter, let me know which chapter you're reviewing!

Cheers,

Eon

EonArashi wrote:

people live side-by-side with creatures who can breathe fire as easily as they do air

That gave me chills xD

I like how you're shaping the story around Strahan's quote. I think you should focus more on that than the Pokemon. Keep the Pokemon but make the ideal story about Connor's reincarnation. But of course, that's just my opinion.

Batman wrote:

EonArashi wrote:

people live side-by-side with creatures who can breathe fire as easily as they do air

That gave me chills xD

Excellent

Batman wrote:

I like how you're shaping the story around Strahan's quote. I think you should focus more on that than the Pokemon. Keep the Pokemon but make the ideal story about Connor's reincarnation. But of course, that's just my opinion.

I'm not framing the story by that quote, actually. I'm putting in one quote per chapter that I think fits the theme of the chapter itself. And this is mainly going to be a world-building story, learning more about the people, places, and Pokémon involved. I'm going to be correcting some things I don't think make sense, making allowances for certain oversights, and generally trying to explain and elaborate on everything that strikes my fancy. This isn't super-serious, it's mostly for fun. ...okay, it has a super-serious plot and stuff, but I'm mostly doing it for fun.