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 Howl of the Gathered Discussion Thread

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EonArashi
Pen Wielder
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Posts : 199
Likes : 4
Join date : 2013-06-18
Location : Somewhere between sanity and reality
Humor : Of course. A humor section. After all, everyone knows that the best way to tell a joke is to have no context, and just improv on the fly *rolls eyes*

PostSubject: Howl of the Gathered Discussion Thread   Tue Dec 10, 2013 12:16 am

As the description section says.
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Raven
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Join date : 2013-02-11
Location : I am in the forest walking around...
Humor : They told me I was supposed to act 'normal', ha! good one.
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PostSubject: Re: Howl of the Gathered Discussion Thread   Sun Dec 15, 2013 11:42 pm

So far I see your angle. And the type of story this is. (I'm always curious where you get these ideas)

Starting with a fugitive is really nice. I like the amount you've explained so far, enough to paint a picture but not too much it gets really weighed down.

Really great concept that um Venari treats his weapons as companions instead of tools. Strong message there.

Being an Admin I should really learn how to properly quote by now
"Just because you were paranoid didn’t mean that there wasn’t someone out to get you."
So  so SO true, and just great sentence xD

In the paragraph about being caged in the campsite, I am not sure who is actually awake and doing the pacing, the members or Muzan?

"Caralan gave a weak cry and the scent of blood and death washed over the camp.  Muzan’s blood froze in his veins..." I love the scene you're laying out, I just have a problem with the conflicting ideas of blood in following sentences (one being spilled the other contained, one exposed other cold)

I like how the leader, even if its in terms of its an emergency, is all nonchalantly saying his crew member is probably dead lol.

You sure this is fantasy? That one paragraph about the 3 troopers is so colorful its quite horror-like graphic, and again later on when the blood and stabbing comes up.
I'm still saying I like it of course ^_^

your...dont remember correct English term...sound effects are quite superb.

The magic loophole was really cool. Reminds me of a scene from a movie thats like "You want to use me for your own gain, You don't want me to get an item, both of you can't be killed; but I can so i'll use my own life against you as ransom haha"

...im mixed about the ending
I like how well it's written and want to see more.
I am disturbed at the acts of killing, because that's me.
I remember why I used to say that I don't want a guy who very well might die while working. I would want my husband to come home to me.

So.... when's the next part?
So uh, can I read the next one soon?:
 
*tail wagging*
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EonArashi
Pen Wielder
Pen Wielder
avatar

Posts : 199
Likes : 4
Join date : 2013-06-18
Location : Somewhere between sanity and reality
Humor : Of course. A humor section. After all, everyone knows that the best way to tell a joke is to have no context, and just improv on the fly *rolls eyes*

PostSubject: Re: Howl of the Gathered Discussion Thread   Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:24 am

Raven wrote:
So far I see your angle. And the type of story this is. (I'm always curious where you get these ideas)

My mind is a scary place. Don't ask.

Quote :
Starting with a fugitive is really nice. I like the amount you've explained so far, enough to paint a picture but not too much it gets really weighed down.

Good, I was hoping for that.

Quote :
Really great concept that um Venari treats his weapons as companions instead of tools. Strong message there.

It's really going to come into its own later as a plot point. For now, it's just a message.

Quote :
Being an Admin I should really learn how to properly quote by now

Yes, yes you should.

Quote :
"Just because you were paranoid didn’t mean that there wasn’t someone out to get you."
So  so SO true, and just great sentence xD

Love it.

Quote :
In the paragraph about being caged in the campsite, I am not sure who is actually awake and doing the pacing, the members or Muzan?

Muzan. He's the only one awake and in the boundaries of the campsite at the time.

Quote :
"Caralan gave a weak cry and the scent of blood and death washed over the camp.  Muzan’s blood froze in his veins..." I love the scene you're laying out, I just have a problem with the conflicting ideas of blood in following sentences (one being spilled the other contained, one exposed other cold)

That dichotomy is actually intentional on my part. I wanted that two-part feeling to exist on purpose, but it seems like it didn't work out as well as I had intended.

Quote :
I like how the leader, even if its in terms of its an emergency, is all nonchalantly saying his crew member is probably dead lol.

Pretty standard response to a crisis; Muzan is mainly trying to keep himself from panicking so the rest of his squad stays calm and focused.

Quote :
You sure this is fantasy? That one paragraph about the 3 troopers is so colorful its quite horror-like graphic, and again later on when the blood and stabbing comes up.
I'm still saying I like it of course ^_^

I just tend to write graphic fight scenes. Writing battles and fight scenes is kind of my specialty, so I sometimes get carried away.

Quote :
your...dont remember correct English term...sound effects are quite superb.

Onomatopoeia. And thanks Smile

Quote :
The magic loophole was really cool. Reminds me of a scene from a movie thats like "You want to use me for your own gain, You don't want me to get an item, both of you can't be killed; but I can so i'll use my own life against you as ransom haha"

Basically the entire magic system in this story is based around exploiting loopholes. So I'm glad you liked it.

Quote :
...im mixed about the ending
I like how well it's written and want to see more.
I am disturbed at the acts of killing, because that's me.
I remember why I used to say that I don't want a guy who very well might die while working. I would want my husband to come home to me.

Yeah. The ending was kind of intentional to show that the situation is pretty much grey versus grey morality, rather than good versus evil. There's no right or wrong here.

Quote :
So.... when's the next part?
So uh, can I read the next one soon?:
 
*tail wagging*

As soon as I can finish writing it. Might take a while, but I will get it done.
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